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Thursday, May 31

Saying No (No).

Thanks to the Blogger App, I have a ton of unfinished drafts I'm finally getting around to finishing and publishing, so here goes...

Now that O is more toddler than infant, he's on a mission to explore everything.  While this helps keep me skinny, I've also recently had to start saying what I like to call the "NN" word.  A lot.  Like every 10 seconds.  It's unfortunate that everything he wants to touch and play with has the capability to smash various baby body parts (the fireplace) or be broken by by bitty baby hands and cost hundreds to replace (plantation shutters, the sliding screen door, everyones glasses and smartphones).    Then there's the protective bumpers he wants to rip from every end table and just the end tables themselves which look like an inviting jungle gym to a 13-month old, evidently.

So, in trying to protect him and teach him, there's a lot of "No No's" being shouted at various decibels throughout the day.  A win is when he shakes his head in response and moves on...which to your credit, little man, you do quite often.  But then there is those times he really wants to eat a green toddler crayon (which were a great gift, if you're reading this, Allison!  He uses them so far to "sign"!) and those times he would die to hurl himself into the sliding screen door to get outside, and I have to intervene, and my scolding brings about the saddest pouty face, and he buries his head in my lap and cries "Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" and I die a little inside.

I know I have to be a good parent and practice discipline, but this is tough.  Long before we had O, Ty and I agreed on how our parenting would work...I would be the Phil, he would be the Claire.  Okay...maybe we didn't agree on this, so much as he accepted that was just the way it was going to be.  The problem is, I'm the one who is actually there 90% of the time, so I have to be the Claire.

Tell me your secrets for this age, experienced parents!  I will do everything in my power to ensure I raise a little gentleman, so help me out here with how to convey "No" to someone with a goldfish memory.

I appreciate any feedback!

Yours Truly,
The Reluctant Claire


thetormeys said...

i wish i had advice to give, we say "that is no" all the time in this house followed by Oscar winning performances of dramatics ;) oh the joys of toddlerville!

rachel said...

Haha! Well, I suppose it's good to know I'm not the only one with such an animated little one! :)

rachel said...

Haha! Well, I suppose it's good to know I'm not the only one with such an animated little one! :)

Danielle Vigneault said...

You can try to avoid saying No all the time by rewording what you are trying to say. I know it's tough but it can help with making No be a word used for important things rather than everything. Like Mason is really into drawing with his crayons in his coloring book and sometimes the walls too. I would say No to him but now I say "lets keep the crayons on the table, this is where we color." It seems to help not saying NO all the time. Hope this helps :-)

Parenting isn't always easy, but staying consistent is key with discipline. Kids need to know the boundaries that you are comfortable with and they will test you. Kids crave boundaries. All the kids that I see at the park that are terrors have the most lazy parents. They let their kids hit and be mean without correcting the bad behavior. Stay with it and you will see great results with O...I'm sure!!

Brooke Aliceon said...

My advice is NOT to baby proof. I feel like like baby proofing just makes instilling "no" and boundaries harder. It sucks in the beginning, but it massively pays off later. That's what helps them learn boundaries (which they need) and the word no. Like, if I let him Jude would open every cupboard in the house and pull everything out. I've never ever let him do that and instead I just drove myself crazy for a few days of constantly just saying no and physically moving him somewhere far away from the cupboards for example. Eventually he just got over it, and that really instilled no for him because it helped him understand what it meant. Otherwise I think it can be confusing. It's also nice because anywhere we go that isn't baby proofed Jude doesn't go cray cray in. He doesn't go for the cupboards/stairs/doors/ovens/toilets... anything like that. It's really helped him learn and that has helped him with other stuff. Then there are times he's running toward the street and I scream no a million times and he still does what he wants. Bahaha. Kids are kids, sometimes they listen sometimes they don't... but regardless you are an amazing mama and he's going to learn something new everyday. Sometimes great things, and sometimes not so great things. ;-)

thetormeys said...

oh yeah, and i'm a big fan of letting them learn for themselves (as long as they are not in danger) like keeping Avery from running on the couch has been a constant battle. take her down, say no, redirect and she is still right back on the couch. would i love to put a gate around my couch? yes...but in reality she will only learn if she takes a tumble off, that is my new approach...we are making progress, she fell off yesterday and didn't get back up all day.

Tyler Andersen said...

ahhh thanks for all the feedback, guys, I love hearing what other successful mama's are doing and what has worked and not worked for them!! I definitely DON'T want to be the lazy ass mom at the park!!! Brooke, well, you've seen our house, it's a baby warzone by design (thanks, Dad, for designing a horrible floor plan for little kids!), other than our two baby gates and the foam around two tables, that's all we hopefully that pays off like it has for you with Jude. If anything, it makes me not have a false sense of security, so I'm at least always watching. And Brooke, O does the same thing with running on the couch!! We just got new leather ones that are really firm and apparently super fun to sprint on..or he tries to climb over the back of day at a time!!! <3 thanks again, girls!!!

Tyler Andersen said...

and this ^ is definitely not tyler andersen saying all this haha

Unknown said...

I am so glad he enjoys the crayons! All I have to say is it is hard to be Claire, but you can't always be Phil =)


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